Divorce is a very hurting situation and nobody should get through it alone. Where do you get divorce support? Whether you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or in the thick of it, I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to share your experience with others who are in or have gone through a divorce. Connecting with someone who’s been in your shoes can help put things in perspective, or at least make you feel a little less alone. If you don’t already have a friend who has gone through divorce, you can seek out a community that suits you.
If you are currently using a desk calendar or day planner, include your divorce events. You will need to track meetings with your lawyer and especially court deadlines. It may be helpful to also keep track of discussions with your spouse. A divorce calendar may be used as evidence in your case when your spouse did not keep an appointment, or violated an agreement or court order in some fashion. Visitation dates with children need to be written down. You will also want to keep track of appointments with your children’s teachers, doctors, coaches, and tutors. This may become evidence of your participation in your children’s lives in your divorce.
The best divorce advice I have for others going through a difficult divorce is to find a reliable support system. What I mean by that is, the divorce litigant should have a reliable friend, family member, awesome therapist, or a divorce group they can count on to talk to about the divorce and the experience. This is extremely important because divorce litigants can foolishly squander thousands of dollars either attempting to utilize the judicial system as retaliation against their spouse or exploiting their attorney as a therapist rather than for legitimate legal advice. At the cost of accumulating thousands of dollars in unnecessary legal fees and avoidable headaches, litigants can easily mitigate mistakes like these simply by voicing their frustration and feelings through therapeutic means. Talking it out will help the litigant focus on the real issues, preventing hurt feelings, sorrowful emotions, and resentment from getting in the way of resolving the divorce matter quickly and fairly.
The biggest mistake divorcing spouses can make is being in the dark about finances. If your spouse has always handled all of the financial decisions in your household and you don’t have any information about you and your spouse’s income and assets, your spouse will have an unfair advantage over you when it comes time to settle the financial issues in your divorce. If you suspect your spouse is planning a divorce, get as much information as you can now. Make copies of important financial records such as account statements (eg., savings, brokerage, and retirement) and all other data that relates to your marital lifestyle (eg., checking accounts, charge card statements, tax returns).
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